Wear it Purple Day: Mim Kempson on Gender, Sexuality and How to be an Ally

St Cat’s resident, relationship coach and LGBTQ+ educator Mim Kempson regularly gives talks at the College on gender, sexuality and how to be an ally. Here are her top three ways you can show support on Wear it Purple Day and every day.

1) Use people's correct pronouns

The best way to learn someone's pronouns when meeting new people is to introduce yourself with your own pronouns. For example, I say, "Hi, I'm Mim. I use she/her pronouns". Using inclusive language yourself also signals to people that you're an ally or are at least somewhat aware of pronoun use. When you do this in front of individuals and groups that are not a part of the gender-diverse and LGBTQIA+ community, you also role model inclusive practice. When someone in the group uses the wrong pronouns to refer to someone, correct them. This is also good role modelling and can reduce the emotional burden of the person always having to be the one to correct others. If you get someone's pronouns wrong, apologise and move forward in the conversation. Drawing attention and spending too much time on your apology and your guilt is generally unhelpful.

2) Be aware of your privilege, and use it wisely

Privilege is a special advantage a particular group carries that they did not earn. For example, being white, male, heterosexual, cis-gendered (identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth), able-bodied (not living with a disability or chronic illness), neurotypical (rather than neurodiverse, i.e. autism, ADHD) are all forms of privilege. Privilege gives you a voice where others of the minority or marginalised demographic mightn't have one. I believe that we can use our privilege to influence important conversations. It also relieves those experiencing oppression from the emotional labour of having to explain themselves frequently. For example, I'm a cis-gendered woman, so I carry that privilege. Transgender people do not carry this privilege. So, when I hear other cis people discriminating against trans people I step in and educate or advocate if I feel safe to do so (i.e. letting people know that trans men are men and it's inappropriate to ask trans people about their transition processes). 

3) Self-educate

The above points wouldn't be possible without the backing of ongoing self-education. This means taking the initiative to find resources that improve your awareness of LGBTQIA+ topics. LGBTQIA+ people (nor any other minority or marginalised group) do not owe you their story or answers to your personal questions about them. Many great educators, activists and advocators online share information for free! Some of my favourites in the LGBTQIA+ space are Alok Vaid-Menon, Casey Tanner and Stevie Lane.